The core issues that I spoke with the doctor about - Other than essential tasks to survive, such as; going to work or the grocery store for food, arriving at an airport, etc - I find it nearly impossible to leave my home and do something. I get very nauseous, have trouble breathing, and am brought down to my knees. Panic attacks and anxiety overcome me most of the time and it takes everything in my to put a stop to them. Another issue is relapse of self-injury, although not nearly as severe as it used to be. Based off of these issues the doctor diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
Generalized Anxiety Disorder is frequent/constant worry and anxiety over many different events. Anxiety can crop up for no reason even without hardly anything to provoke it. For anyone that wants more detailed information on GAD I will put a couple links at the bottom of the post. Just to include some of the symptoms though, all ones I experience, from the National Library of Medicine:
- Difficulty concentrating
- Fatigue
- Irritability
- Problems falling or staying asleep, and sleep that is often restless and unsatisfying
- Restlessness, and often becoming startled very easily
The idea is if my GAD can be treated perhaps the other issues will begin to clear up too. I really hope that is the case and am trying to stay optimistic. I feel there are other issues too, but need to take one step at a time and see where the GAD treatment leads first. I am comfortable with and trust the doctor I am seeing, something I didn't have in the past with psychiatrists. He focuses on the issues you tell him about and he wants to have monthly followups with me to ensure I am getting the best care possible.
The initial treatment plan doesn't involve any counselors. I have been prescribed Paxil (Paroxetine), an anti-depressant used to treat depression, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, to name a few. It's supposed to take roughly 1-2 weeks for the meds to actually start taking effect. Potentially 4-6 weeks for depression to start going away from what I have read. In the meantime I am thinking about attending local National Alliance on Mental Illness support groups where I can share my experience with people like me. NAMI groups would also provide a way of asking about counselors in the area who care and are friendly, giving me the opportunity to include that in my treatment eventually.
So far there is not much to report since I have only been on Paxil for 9 days. The side effects were fairly severe when I first started the medicine: I was constantly nauseous and exhausted. The nausea isn't as frequent or as bad as it initially was and I was told all of these types of medication cause that. That likely explains the problem I had with Welbutrin in the past and its withdrawal. At least this time I understand what is going on and have someone who understands what they are prescribing me.
As a result I have started taking Pepcid Complete more frequently again and it seems to help. I might take it every 12 hours like I do when I get gastritis just as a precautionary measure. As for being sleepy, that is still an issue, but is a little more manageable. I do best on the weekends when I can take a nap whenever I want. I'm considering a switch to taking the Paxil before I go to bed and seeing if that helps.
I have noticed changes in my mood and appetite even though my mood and anxiety aren't cured. When I drive to work in the morning I feel a bit more relaxed now and my appetite is starting to come back. Before where I had to force myself to eat something just because I need to eat a small piece of lasagna now leaves me still hungry. Not only that, while at work I will start to lose energy and if I eat something or drink a soda my body starts to balance out again. This coming week I will probably try to get out and do a couple things and see if I am becoming more relaxed as I think I am.
Sleep has become slightly more balanced during the night, but still has some work to go. I am able to go to bed a bit early than I used to which is good for my work situation, although I wake up earlier. Both could be positive changes. The self-injury this last week also wasn't as frequent with the medication helping to balance me out. I won't post the self-injury details since they are irrelevant.
In the coming weeks I will post updates about how the treatment is going and follow ups with the doctor. I have a doctor who cares, I am comfortable with and a family standing behind me and supporting me through this. Not to mention I am more focused on myself this time. I've let people into my world, something I vowed I would never do 6 1/2 years ago, and it really has made a difference. I don't have to fight this alone this time around, and neither do you if you're out there struggling.
Note: I hope to return to youtube soon and haven't forgotten about everyone there.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001915/ (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad/index.shtml
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001037/ (Paxil [Paroxetine])
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/generalized-anxiety-disorder/DS00502
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