Morning everyone. I hope you all had a good past week and a happy Halloween if it's celebrated where you are. Happy Holidays to everyone else around the world too; I know there are a few different ones being celebrated right now. Lets do a quick update, there have been some major accomplishments.
First off I have been on Paxil for roughly 18 days (not keeping exact count, but the last post was about 9 days ago). I think the medication is really helping this time around. Nothing is cured and certainly not everything has been impacted by the medication, but I feel there is a step in the positive direction.
My anxiety levels appear to be reduced. The first time I noticed this is when I realized I would be much more comfortable sharing my disorder with a second family member (my father). A few days later I made this happen. Sharing what is wrong with me was so difficult because I was extremely anxious about the reaction there would be. As I've said in the past though those closest to me are really who I want to have in the loop. I love my family and now both mother and father know about what's going on with me. Through my advocacy work and my own plan they are able to help support me better now.
Another situation to note is how I react around my co-workers. I've been in my position long enough to become comfortable with my co-workers and interact well. Where I struggle is going out to lunch with them. This has always been difficult; I eat very slow, don't have much of an appetite, and can barely get through just a part of my meal. Most of what I ordered ends up going back with me in a box. This past week though I went out to lunch with my co-workers and noticed that I was much more relaxed.
Based on those two steps I think progress is going in the right direction with the anxiety. There is still quite a ways to go, but I will continue to take everything a day/week at a time.
Depression wise I don't think there has been much difference if at all yet. I expected that would take more time and will keep working on that too. If I can recover from the anxiety though I feel I may stand a better chance at getting through the depression. I'll primarily focus on one illness at a time, while trying to keep the other managed, as to try and not overwhelm myself. The depression gets very overwhelming at times, but I have been able to call family or find someone online to talk with.
One last major accomplishment recently is that I have started going to National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) support groups. I would highly recommend getting involved with one if there is one around you. I am going to NAMI Connection "...a weekly recovery support group for people living with mental illness in which people learn from each others’ experiences, share coping strategies, and offer each other encouragement and understanding" - NAMI. These are located in the United States "as well as in Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia" - NAMI. Their site is also an excellent resource.
Is there anyone outside the U.S. who could recommend similar groups for others elsewhere around the world? Places around Europe, Asia, South America, Africa, anywhere outside the U.S. Other suggestions around the U.S. are also welcome, but if I could list some outside too that would be great!
It's hard to believe that I may finally be going in the right direction. If you asked me years ago when I first really started experiencing depression I would have said it's impossible to recover. Today I am starting to get a little hope and feeling like my illnesses are something that could be managed and/or recovered from. I will keep documenting progress and posting my ways of coping and recovering.
See parts 1 and 2 for where the recent chapter of my life and will to overcome all this began.
National Alliance on Mental Illness: http://www.nami.org
