Personal Entry |2 - The Moving Experience, Part 1

Yesterday I finally got internet connectivity again and am able to continue on with my posts. The last week though has been an interesting experience though looking at the different affects its had on me.

I think one person at work has begun to sense a little that there is a bit more behind my face than what I really show on a daily basis. I haven't outright spoken about the difference issues I have, but instead have passed the blame onto all the changes going on in my life right now. I think even my mom over the phone perhaps has noticed somewhat of a change. Between moving and changing jobs the different issues are flaring up a bit more. Without the internet and most of my distractions, the situation became even more interesting.

As the move got closer I got more nervous and anxious. I also began to wonder if I would actually manage to pack everything in time before the big moving day. I did finish though, 12am the morning prior to the move.

The past week I've found myself making a lot more phone calls than usual. I really don't like talking on the phone, but it's been something to keep me distracted and occupied. If I go back to my old place now I feel really out of place like I don't belong there. At my new place I feel more comfortable in that I like the floor plan and space better than the other. The community also seems to be a bit more mature, which is wonderful, but I haven't been able to meet too many new people yet. I need to work up the courage to go for a run around the neighborhood or something. It would be good for my physical well-being too.

I still haven't checked my new mailbox; I have this fear of who I will run into and just keep avoiding it. The people around seem friendly, but other than observation I tend to just keep to a friendly hello and proceed to my place. Updating my address has been taking a bit of effort as well. I pushed off changing my internet service till the last minute as well as electric and postal. I should have done these things in advance, I don't know if this is natural or not. I still need to adjust quite a bit, but all in all I feel the new place is better for me than the old one.

Problems I Attribute to the Old Place:

1) I've noticed relapse of my depression, but in worse ways than before and closer to borderline or bipolar. I am not sure entirely what to make of this, but will elaborate further in a later post.

2) Due to the noise problems and lack of proper handling I have distanced myself from people further and my anxiety towards being accepted and around people has become worse.

What the Old Place Helped:

1) I began to stand up for myself and not tolerate others bringing me down. 

Things to do while moving when without internet and much else to do include:

1) Read a book (This has helped me a lot)

2) Call a friend or family if you have a cell phone

3) Drive an hour to dinner (if you have a car and license)

This wasn't a post about much, but I am back and expect to have a more informative post soon, including posts about how the moving experience progresses over the next few weeks.