This is a response to a video by TheEmmyR on YouTube. I am making the response on the blog so I am not restricted by the short character message length of YouTube comments.
Original video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O967_S3FzE&feature=feedu
The original question was: "What should the goal of counseling be? To get rid of the urges of self harm? Or to accept the urges and learn to deal with them in a more positive way?"
My opinion probably differs from counselors, therapists, and psychiatrists. I would also go as far as saying the counselors and therapists need better awareness of the core issue of self harm, maybe they will check out some videos people like us make and become more knowledgeable. Text books to teach them can only go so far.
I think the goal of counseling should be to accept the urges and learn to deal with them. Long term I suppose they could go away, but I for one have not self harmed in 3 years now and still get very strong urges and triggers. I've even come close to giving in despite the length I have gone without it. I think the reason they will never go away is because my struggle with self harm was a part of me and has contributed to who I am today. There are ways to deal with the triggers though and channel them into a different type of emotion.
In these times I do things like:
1) Play a video game
2) Clean the house/living space
3) Call/Text a friend/family about something unrelated
4) Call/Text a friend/family for support
5) Listen to music or write
6) Go to sleep for the night
Those are the positive behaviors I use to deal with the urges and triggers.
I think counselors and therapists trying to get rid of the triggers is bordering on too much pressure and also a bit unrealistic. My #1 trigger these days stems from stress and flashbacks because my mind goes into overdrive and can't think as straight. My family doctor and someone in the family who works in the health care industry have both told me it's impossible to eliminate stress. There are only ways to manage stress. I think triggers and urges are a lot like managing stress. Self harm is a way to cope with something a.k.a. manage.
If counselors, therapists, and psychiatrists want to eliminate the urges they have to get to the core of the problem. We can't just erase a part of us an not deal with it though can we? Many things that sadden me now get turned into anger, and anger turned into sadness, but all that gets channeled into new ideas and ways to deal with the problem and change the world or myself.
I do not think a psychiatrist is the right person to talk to simply because their job is to prescribe medications, not deal with the core issues. From my experience psychiatrists are actually clueless when it comes to understanding what is really going on. One of my psychiatrists tried to pressure me into stopping and had the mindset you could just stop right away (what he actually did i'll leave out of this public post). That resulted in me removing myself from counseling, the depression getting worse, and isolation myself, all in an effort of self defense. I've had a couple not so bad experiences with counselors though and feel they are better fit to talk to.
Hopefully this at least answers some questions. If there are anymore or I need to elaborate more on something just let me know!
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