Addiction and Destructive Behavior

Good morning everyone. Hopefully it hasn't been as hectic for everyone as it has me the past couple weeks. I've traveled, met some new people in the online realm of gaming, watched TV,  and picked up new music. Regardless I'm managing to get on top of everything and want to provide another post.

In my struggle to meet new people there is one key factor that gets in the way the most. That is maintaining the activities that I enjoy and finding similar people who accept those same activities. For example I enjoy playing video games, Massively Multiplay Online (MMO) games in particular these days. I used to play First Person games, but found I enjoyed the MMO scene quite a bit. There are a lot of people addicted to games to the point of playing 9 hours a day though and I get looked at like one of them anytime I mention to someone new that I enjoy MMOs. In another case there are members of my family who smoke. I have seen first hand through them how destructive smoking is, wouldn't start myself, and wish they could stop. However my experiences with self injury and depression have opened my mind up to the world of addiction, the destruction addiction causes, and how difficult it is to get out. I may not self injure like I used to, but the thoughts and cravings are still there.

I hope to open everyones eyes a bit more to what addiction really is, potential causes, affects, after affects, and even the stereotypes that result from ones behavior. There are several forms, the ones I will use are from either personal experience or family who are close to me.

The dictionary definition of addiction is:
Compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful - Merriam Webster

What this really means is that someone is hooked to something and doesn't have it in their own control to be able to stop or keep the activity in moderation at healthy levels. To quote Dawson McAllister, "if you could have stopped on your own, you would have already done it." I truly believe those words and my experiences will follow.

How I got into self injury in the first place I don't know. All I remember is that it was something I did on impulse to cope with the feelings I was having at the time. The details of how I did it, where, and all that information isn't something that needs to be discussed here, just that it started in the first place. I didn't know how else to deal with the feelings I had and self injury was there for me (see other posts on the blog for alternatives to self injury such as music, gaming, and friends). What was the underlying cause behind my mental health issues in the first place? I am still trying to figure that out, but as in earlier posts I tend to believe it was associated with darker aspects of my past. Did I want to stop? Partly yes, mostly no, I feared losing who I was and how I would deal with problems when self injury was gone.

In another case there is a member in my family who smokes. She started before people knew it was bad and became hooked. She has tried to stop before but always returns. Does she want to stop? I am not entirely sure, only she can answer that question. What I do know is that she can't stop on her own, regardless of what other people keep saying. I hear time and time again that she could just pick up and stop that she's not addicted. Then why if it's so harmful, she is in such bad shape, knows how bad it is, and tells others never to start, she won't stop smoking?

One last case I would like to share is someone who was very close to me and I still regard as a wonderful person regardless of what they are involved in. Prior to my experience with depression and self injury and knowing someone who was involved with drugs I was very much not informed about addiction and how separate it is from personality. I tried to get this person to stop doing drugs and at the same time tried to get them to stop several other things and the response I would get was "then what do I do?" This was a wonderful person caught up in destructive behavior trying to cover up the pain caused by deeper issues. I didn't have a good answer for them at the time, they had depression too, and this was their method of dealing with the pain just like my self injury. At this point I learned of my own addiction to self injury, what it really meant, and how it wasn't really much different from other behaviors.

What was the point of sharing these experiences? To show that addiction is deeper than "i'm addicted and can't stop" and the "you can stop if you want" responses a lot of the time. To begin combating addiction you need to start digging to the root of it, figure out how to move beyond the past. Those with someone close to them dealing with addiction, don't be hostile to the person, but don't provide the means to continue, and most importantly show the person that you love them, care about them, be direct and straight with them. If need be even help them get some counseling and let them know you'll be there every step of the way to help them if they agree to help and that they are going to be ok.

Just because someone is addicted or struggling doesn't mean they are a bad person. Like those with the common cold or go to the doctors for an illness, people with mental health issues or addiction are just the same. We are all the same, just dealing with different and more complex but not so well understood issues. Many people are addicted, but most need help to stop, to quote A&E's show Intervention.

Just because some people are addicted to something doesn't mean everyone else is either.