This is a post long overdue. After my position at work being taken from me in November I was extremely busy searching for new employment. 3 months of forced vacation really wasn't a vacation at all. On top of that the ski trip I really wanted to make didn't happen either because of the threat of unemployment looming over my head. I am happy to report I found a new job and am starting to try and stabilize again.
Despite all the good things that are coming together I am finding myself feeling depressed still. This is mostly in the evening and on the weekends. The work days have actually gone pretty well; I've felt calm and relaxed. I like what I am doing and am surrounded by a wonderful group of people. The anxiety is being kept under control by the medication very well. There are still times I get anxious but I am able to manage them much better than I used to.
Something else bothering me is the insomnia. One of the side effects for my medication is insomnia and I have a lot of trouble sleeping. I did find an over the counter sleep aid though that helps sometimes. Despite the side effect the medication is still worth it to me. The medication has given me back my life. I might talk to my doctor next time about trying to find a better sleep medication.
One last issue is that I want to find a social worker for therapy. I feel like I need more than just support groups once a week. Or maybe I need a therapy group; I really don't know. I just need a place where I can talk everything out that is on my mind and get more than advice.
Overall I've kept everything under control. I'm rather amazed sometimes at how well I am able to keep control. I attribute all this to the effort I've put into recovery. What I need now is a way to express emotion healthily and to be able to talk. I need justice, I need to speak out, and to express myself.
This post is kind of all over the place but that is where my mind is at the moment. We are not alone.
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