I am dedicating this blog to awareness about the stigma surrounding mental illness in the professional workforce. Whenever in public I feel this shadow cast over me because of what I go through on a daily basis. It's bad enough that I have the illness, and the stigma makes it worse. I've managed to fill in most of my family now and the reaction has been mostly tears and wishing they could understand better, not quite what I expected but welcomed. Next I want to get them involved with my awareness campaign.
I finally began feeling pretty secure at my job, no one even knew I had generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I was extremely productive, did something I enjoy, and had a team that accepted me for who I was, or at least presented myself to be, since I didn't share my battles. My battles with mental illness didn't need to be brought up though, and the team helped me learn more about myself when they didn't even know it. My illnesses are just that, illnesses, they never defined who I am. I began to better understand my anxiety better and my team helped me come to the realization that I needed to seek help.
I had dealt with depression before, but generalized anxiety disorder was new to me diagnosis wise and I had been brushing it off as something that would just pass over. I sought help, am glad I did, and slowly see myself beginning to get better. Seeing the doctor added a new diagnosis to my record and ended up resulting in unnecessary responses. I started my awareness campaign based on the negative encounters I had with people during college, the darkest of my days, hoping I will one day make a positive impact helping the lesser educated understand mental health better. In the past couple weeks my latest employer joins the motivation and passion I have to get the word out, just not in the light I had been hoping for.
I won't discuss any names or locations of people and places, but take this information and please realize those of us with mental illness are people too. We are just like those taking medicine for high blood pressure. We are not criminals, mental illnesses comes in different severities, and we can be quite productive. There is more information now, we are not the risk and threat people thought in the past. This post may be the only justice and awareness I can get out over my situation. I don't consider myself disabled; I don't want compensation over the situation; I don't want to sit back and let those responsible for this just get away without understanding. I want people to be aware so this doesn't happen to others.
My job that I had loved so much, that took 3-4 months before I finally settled in, gave me a reason to wake up each day. I was at last doing the type of work I wanted to do and with a team who formed a small family within the office. We had our own friendly little culture, joking, bringing food and sweets in. I am really going to miss them and what happened to me caused anger and tears among them too. This doesn't just affect me, but it impacts the group of people around me too. I ended up addressing them so they understood just how strong I'd become and that it wasn't my decision to leave.
There is too much power in the hands of the person that took my job from me. I should have been looked at for who I was, not the illness. Yes, if completely untreated, some of those worst case scenarios could happen. Did I have to be taken from my job immediately? No. I sought help so those worst case scenarios never saw any light. Is the workforce trying to promote hiding and covering up the inner battles we have? I really hope not, seeking help has been one of the best things I have ever done. After 7 years I finally have a medication and treatment plan that is working for me. I never gave up hope, and don't plan to. I have done extensive research and investigation into myself to understand why I have the illnesses I do. I may be getting closer, but something for sure is that I have finally learned how to better manage them.
Not only was my job taken from me, but I was then thrown into isolation. Someone with generalized anxiety disorder and depression need to be around people, not alone. We are people just like you.
More of us are starting to seek help each day. The numbers of people dealing with mental illnesses is coming to light as the years go on. One day there could be no one left to work if this stigma is allowed to continue on. Please look at the big picture and think before just pushing us aside. We are your best friends, your hardest workers, and those there for you in your time of need. Do us a favor and look at us for who we are just as we look at you for who you are. At least understand we are like everyone else.
Those of us dealing with mental illness will continue to seek help. We will not be deterred.
I remain hopeful to prove to people one day that mental illness is just that an illness. We can be productive, loving, caring, and successful. Give us a chance and watch us flourish.
